So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The Olympian is in my bed
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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