I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
