There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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