what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
