I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
