I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
