white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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