You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
