just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
