YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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