So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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