btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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