The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
