Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
