ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
