Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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