Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
