This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
