i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
