if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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