Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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