I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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