I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
