is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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