how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
