no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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