I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
