Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
