ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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