i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
