and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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