Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
