is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
