Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
