The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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