u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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