there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
