You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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