brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
