it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
