Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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