hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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