Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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