NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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