I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
