haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
false alarm. still invincible.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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