lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
