Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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