I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
