I hate your face
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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