I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
