first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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