drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize