This girl is more easily done than said...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
