Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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