i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
