when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
