my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
