Say something about gay babies.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
