I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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