Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
