marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
