You really coming over, don't trick.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
