Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
