fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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